A little something for Granddaddy :)

My Granddaddy was a man who everyone loved and you really couldn't help but love him. He showed me what humility looked like and how to be gentle with other people. He had a lot of patience and love for everyone he knew. My Granddaddy was a great man. He loved the Lord, even though he rarely talked about it. He never complained about anything. If we burnt the bread for Sunday dinner, he would say that it was fine. He loved to be sarcastic with me, especially about my "many boyfriends." He always knew how to make me smile and laugh. He would pick me up from school in his "pimp" van, the one that looks like it could fall to pieces at any moment. The van that embarrassed my cousin because the door wouldn't shut. He always came over to our house at random times. He would be the one to deliver my birthday cake from my Grandma. He always talked about Carolina basketball. He always asked how everyone was doing. He would go to McDonald's every morning for coffee and sit and watch the traffic, but not see a single person drive by. He loved his family. He treated his friends like family. He always went out "visiting" his friends during the day to occupy his time. I knew that if he wasn't home, he would probably be over at my aunt and uncle's house or another friend's place on his list to visit. He would drive me to dance class and he even let me drive the van. Even when I ran it into the curb one time. He would take me to the pool during the summer. He would do anything for me. This is something that warms my heart.

My Granddaddy was a man of service. He served in the US Navy for four years and he served his neighbors and friends after that. I don't think my Granddaddy would ever tell anyone no. He was always the first to offer to take food to our elderly neighbor. He would do all of the single ladies' yard work for them. He loved being with people and serving them.

I would give anything to be half the person my Granddaddy was. Looking back on his involvement in my life, I wouldn't trade a thing. I can't wait to be reunited with him in Heaven again. It'll be a sweet reunion!

Granddaddy,
         Thank you for being so loving. Thank you for loving the Lord through the good and bad times. Thank you for being yourself and enjoying everything the Lord provided for you. I hope you and Jesus are having fun in Heaven! I pray that you would watch over me and see the woman that I become. Watch me as I go through life without you, but I will always have you in my heart. I can't wait to tell my children and husband about you someday. You will be greatly missed, but don't worry, I'm going to rejoice in my many memories of you. I love you Granddaddy!

Your Shug :)

A Heart for Change

It's Fall Break for me and I FINALLY have time to blog...

My life since being in Greenville has been crazy busy. Taking 23 credit hours, being an RA, being on Leadership with CRU, and still struggling with post-project depression hasn't been the most easiest combination of things in my life. I know that I love being busy, but I've been learning a lot about myself and I've also been able to see how God has transformed my heart this summer in preparing me for this new semester. I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I've always struggled with finding my identity in my academics and performance. Let me just say the Lord has really been redeeming me in my sin. I'm halfway through the semester already (I can't believe it!) and I'm slowly realizing that I'm not as caught up in my school work than I used to.  I used to stress out to the max if I didn't have my readings finished before class or if I wasn't fully prepared for class. Now I am not concerned with that. I know that God has given me the ability to take classes and so I'm trusting Him in that He will allow me to do my best and to be satisfied with what He has given me. I would honestly so much rather just hang out with my ECU CSP12 people and talk about Christ and what He is doing in our lives, but I'm finding contentment in getting my school work done and having the little conversations with them that I can.

CRU had their fall retreat in September at Myrtle Beach. It was a really awesome weekend. My favorite part of the weekend was our speaker, Will Plitt. If you haven't heard of him, you should look him up. He's freakin' amazing!!! He spoke this year on having a heart for change, for God, and for missions. Each talked built upon each other and they were all so powerful. The "Heart for Change" talk was my favorite one that weekend. Will Plitt talked about what our lives should look like when we become saved and put our faith in Christ. That our hearts are changed to obey God and His word. Will Plitt said this "Coming to faith in Christ, is coming to the end of self." How true is that. Once we believe in Christ, we our putting our flesh aside and trusting fully in God. This quote really stuck out with me. Have I really came to the end of self? Have I fully came to faith in Christ? To hand over every aspect of my life to Him. As I have thought about this, I come to think about the sins in my life, especially how pride is a recurring theme. Dang pride. I've realized this semester that my pride goes further than just academics and performance, but into friendships and my interactions with other people. I have felt so bad in how I've treated people because of this. I'm seeing everyday that I am in need of grace and how badly I need to come to the end of self so that I can shine God brighter than myself. Actually, so that God is the ONLY thing shining through me.

Like I said earlier, I'm on Fall Break. Thank goodness for this break from school work. The week prior to break was definitely my most stressful week of school ever!! A million things to do and not enough sleep resulting in this girl being exhausted by the end of the week. Either way, I made it out alive and home safely. Since being home, I started working at The Loft Outlets at Tanger. If you know me well enough, you know that I absolutely LOVE that store. I've only been working for two days so far and it has been a great experience. Everyone there has been so nice and helpful. I got to work the wardrobe room (dressing room) today, and it was soooo much fun. I got to help the ladies that came in make outfits and leave with something new for their closet. I think I may have a niche for the wardrobe room...just maybe.

Psalm 121 :)

New Beginnings

I have been away from project for 4 days now and it actually seems like forever. I'm in Greenville for RA training and missing project more and more each day. I'm slowly coming to terms that God has me in Greenville away from project for a reason even though it frustrates me that He has ended something so good for me so quickly. The newbies of my staff came in today and they are just so precious. I'm really excited for them and for their new adventures as RAs. This year is going to be really awesome and I know God has me where I am for a reason, it's just a matter of me trusting Him in that. Tonight, one of my fierce co-workers came to my door and told me that there was a guy moving in on her floor. We went to investigate and found out that all of our floors are CO-ED. Do you realize what this means....I have to deal with girls and guys on one floor together. I don't know how I feel about this. I don't know how I'll be able to connect with the guys and make sure there isn't any drama between the ladies and gents. I don't know how the guys will respect me as their RA. Basically, I'm really nervous and anxious about how this will work. My Coordinator is going to help us figure out how to build a community with our residents and how to do programs to accommodate both sexes. I'm going to need a lot of prayers for this and I know God knows that I can handle this..I mean why else would He put me in this Residence Hall if He didn't think I could.

I've been trying super hard to keep in contact with people from project but it is so hard, especially with the time difference. By the time my project friends are done with their night activities, I'm exhausted and tired on the east coast. But I have learned that the time that we get to talk is really sweet and that I should be so thankful that God allows us to stay in contact with one another. I'm learning that I need to be patient with them because they are still on project and that their time is very precious and valuable and it is even more so since this is the last week for all of them. God has definitely blessed me with some sweet friends from project and I would have never imagined these friendships being so strong and secured in Christ. It blows my mind!

So, this post is short, but I'm coming to terms with a new beginning to my life. The one after project and the one where I'm a different person because of project and how God showed up for me this summer. Here is to a new beginning, a new chapter to my life!

It's not Goodbye, but "See Ya Later!"

Tomorrow I leave Chicago, tomorrow I begin a new adventure back at home, tomorrow I say "see ya later" to 68 of my closest friends, tomorrow starts a new beginning. My time on project is coming to an end and it sucks. It is such a bittersweet moment in project. I'm ready to see my family back at home, but I'm not ready to leave my new project family. I've become so close to so many people on project that I don't want to leave them because I don't know when the next time I'll see them considering the majority of them live in the midwest. I know God has placed these people in my life for a reason and that our friendships will be able to stand distance. I know I'll be having many skype dates and pen pals for the rest of my life. I also get to look forward to reunion with these people that usually happens October/ November.

Today has already been an emotional day. Actually this past week as been emotional. I haven't cried as much this entire summer than I have within this past week. I get super emotional when I have to leave something so good. Reality has finally sunk in and I'm not a huge fan of it quite yet. I know I need to trust God in His plan for me leaving early, so I'm trying my best to live in the now, enjoy what He has given me this very moment instead of thinking about the end. So, this morning at about 3:00 am, I was getting phone calls and text messages from two of my friends. My sweet dear friend Soooz found out her sister was in labor so she was going to be leaving project for a day or two to be there for the birth of her niece. I ended up staying up with her before she left. We spent about 3 hours together which didn't feel that long. It was so good to have some quality time with her before she left. She has become one of my closest friends on project and she has become my best friend. That was probably the hardest "see ya laters" I have ever done. She has impacted my life so much within these past 9 weeks and I have treasured every moment I have spent with her. She is a friend I have never had, one that isn't afraid to challenge me and to speak truth into me when I didn't want to hear it. I know that God will bless our friendship and He will honor it. I'm so excited to be able to share life with her while being in two different states.

I haven't had to say my "see ya laters" to anyone else yet, but I know it's going to be hard. These people on project have literally become my family here in Chicago. They have made me feel so special. Whenever they talk to me, I feel that I'm the only person in the room and that they value me as an individual and as a daughter of Christ. I've never felt so valued by people than I have here. The encouragements and sincerity of our interactions has been so awesome to see and be a part of. We all genuinely care about each other and we want to hear about each other's struggles that day or that week. I'm going to miss the sense of community that has been built on project. The deep, intentional conversations that we have and the fun adventures that we go on. Chicago now has such a special place in my heart. I never thought I would love Chicago as much as I do, but it is a beautiful city and God is doing amazing things here.

So, I said earlier that I've been crying like crazy this past week. As I am writing this, I'm crying. It blows my mind how God has changed me and my view on life because of this summer. People say that project changes you, and they were so right. I feel as if I'm a different person, but in all good ways. These changes have made me more like my Father and have made me see how God can really work in my life. These tears shows how much of an impact that CSP '12 has made on my life. I wouldn't trade this summer for anything!

The End is Near....

This exact time in a week, I will be back in good ole North Carolina. I will be back in North Carolina, not in Chicago no more. This is so crazy. Who knew that my summer would go by so quick and that I would already be on my way to going home. I cannot believe that 8 weeks are already over. Monday begins week 9 and my last one in the Windy City. God has taught me so much this summer and I guess I'll recap what He has taught me over the past 8 weeks.

God has taught me a ton about being vulnerable with people, especially with my fellow sisters-in-Christ. I have never fully grasp why I should be vulnerable and what it looks like for me to be vulnerable. My vulnerability looks really cool with certain people. I find myself being very open about my struggles and about what God has been teaching me. I have found myself wanting to share my struggles with other girls on project and it's so cool the conversations that arise because we are sharing in our struggles with the sin in our lives. It is hard some times to be completely open with other people and I always finding myself not wanting to be as open as much as God wants me to. It has been an ongoing process of learning to be vulnerable with other believers and to not let my pride get in the way of me sharing my deepest struggles. God has also been showing me what a community of believers look like. It has been really encouraging to be able to see a group of 70 college students loving Christ and living for Him and how we are all able to interact with each other because of that common ground. I've never really experienced what it means to have real friendships and ones that I know will last for a lifetime. I know that this group of people will always be there for me and I think I can finally see what a real friendship based solely on Christ looks like for me.

This past Thursday, we all got a little special encouragement note in our encouragement folders. People kept telling me to go get mine, but I decided to wait until after the meeting. I opened my little packet and saw that I had little encouraging notes from the people that I love the most. I had some from my friends back at ECU and some from family members. The most ridiculous thing was that I saw my Daddy's name on one sheet and the tears came falling down. I hadn't even read one line or anything, just seeing my sweet Daddy's name on that note made me tear up. This is when I'm so thankful for my sweet dear friends here at project because they made me feel so much better and they all know how to comfort me when I'm balling. I finally had time to read through all of the letters and God really knew this was perfect timing for me to get them. Each note really struck me with sincerity and it actually made me miss home more than I had all summer. Knowing that these people were constantly praying for me and for my relationship with the Lord while I am in Chicago is so humbling. One of my super dear friends, Mackenzie, wrote me a note that contained the words I needed to hear. She wrote that I needed to not think of project coming to an end, but to continue to live everyday in the moment and to strive for God in everything that I do. I have found myself getting into the mindset that since project is coming to an end that I don't need to keep getting to know people or to talk to people on campus, when really, I should continue to strive for sharing the gospel daily and to building relationships with people on project.

So...my prayer this week is that I go out with a bang and leave a legacy behind that will only glorify God. I will not think about the end, but enjoy the now..the now that I get to spend with the most amazing people ever..the now that I get to learn more and more about my Heavenly Father...the now that I get to live in Chicago...and the now that I get to learn more about myself as a chosen daughter of God.

2 Week Countdown

Today marks exactly two weeks that I have left in Chicago and with my CSP family. I never anticipated project being over this quick. It blows my mind that I've been here for 7 weeks and that my time is almost up. I can't even describe how I feel about this. Thinking about going home brings so many different emotions within me. Part of me is really excited to go home to see my sweet dear family and to begin my next adventure of college and the other part of me is really depressed that I have to leave the friends (really family) that I have up here in Chicago. And it also sucks that most of my CSP family is from up north so it'll be harder for me to see them physically. I guess that I'll be using Skype and my phone quite a lot once I leave to keep in contact with the people that I have grown super close to. Who knew that I would become close friends with people that I've only known for 7 weeks. I don't think any of my previous relationships have developed this quick. This is just a testament to how God can really bring people together to glorify Him in their friendships. God has been so good to me these past 7 weeks and He has made me fall in love with Him even deeper. I'm ready to live out these next two weeks and make some super fabulous memories with the wonderful people on project and with God.

I would ask that y'all pray for my heart. That God would begin to prepare it for me leaving this reality of project and transitioning into the reality that I have to face when I return home. It is going to be a rough transition for sure.

Broken China

So it has been a week and a half since staff left project and let me tell you...it has been an adventure. We have such a great leadership team and they have put in countless hours to ensure that the student-led portion of project is better than the staff-led portion. I would have to say that our student leadership team has been doing a phenomenal job at challenging us through action groups (bible studies) and through our weekly talks. I have never been so mind-blown than I have these past two weeks of bible studies. Our theme for the second part of project is "I AM..." and this theme has been so good for me. I'm able to learn more about the characteristics of God that are presented in 1 John. Last week we studied how God is eternal and that is such an awesome thing to think about. I mean, God has no beginning or end and He is always there keeping His promises. This week's theme is "I AM...Light" and to be completely honest, this is a hard idea for me to wrap my mind around. God is light and He is the one that illuminates my life so that I don't have to live in complete darkness, which would be my sins. I just struggle with the idea of God being light, maybe I am just over thinking all of this. I'm definitely going to have to dig deeper into this idea of God being light in order to really grasp it and to understand it better for myself.

I have been challenged through the studies and the talks, but I'm not starting to feel project take its toll on me. My broken china is now coming out and I'm revealing the real Linds to people. I've given off the idea that I'm always happy and bubbly, but in reality, I have my quiet moments where I don't want to talk and I just need time to myself. Being around people 24/7 is more draining than I have ever thought. I have always believed that I enjoyed being around people and that I could do it ALL the time, but project has been teaching me so much about myself, and I now need me time in order to gain energy. I'm definitely realizing that I'm in the middle of being an extrovert and an introvert. I love the time that I get to spend with the people on project, but I also love the time that I get to myself where I can process things, have quality time with Jesus and to just relax. I have also learned that I enjoy one-on-one time rather than big groups. I have much better conversations that are way more intentional with people when it is one-on-one rather than in a bigger group setting. I find it so interesting that whenever I'm slightly quieter than normal people automatically assume that something is wrong with me...Sometimes I just enjoy being quiet and not being loud.

The whole idea behind the broken china is from a talk that Bacho did when he was still here. He had told us that at the beginning of project we had our fine china out. Our fine china is when we act like we have it all together and we don't show our brokeness to each other. We want people to see that we have it all together (which I am so guilty of). Our broken china shows our cracks and just how we are struggling to hold it all together. It shows were we have been chipped and broken for God's kingdom and how we are showing the real us. I'm loving this opportunity to see people's broken china and to see them being real with one another. I'm trying to embrace my own broken china and I'm trying to act like I don't have it all together because I don't. I'm still figuring out what that looks like for me because I want people to see my brokenness especially other believers.

I pray that everyone on project is able to expose our broken china and that we can grow closer together because of it!

An Emotional Week

This past week has been full of a lot of different emotions for me. To start off with, this was the last week for staff. They have all finished their jobs on this project and now it is up to us students to lead and finish up this project the way we want to. So last Thursday, we all found out our jobs for the remainder of project. I am co-leading the meetings team. So basically, I am in charge of planning our Monday and Thursday night meetings with my team of 8. I'm so excited for this leadership position because I know God will use it to challenge me and to draw me closer to Him. With everyone finding out their jobs, that means that there is no longer a need for staff to be here. I still cannot believe it is already time for them to leave. They have all been so awesome, encouraging, and fun to be with. Why do they have to leave???

This past Tuesday was my last D-Time with Erin. It was a super sweet time and I couldn't have asked for anything more. We went to the Starbucks by IIT's campus and had some cold coffee since it was blazing hot outside. We had some great conversations about relationships, purity, and modesty. These are just some things that I have been thinking a lot about and it was so great to get Erin's thoughts on them as an older and wiser woman of God. She really gave me some insight from her own experiences and just what she has really learned from God about these topics as she has grown in her faith. It was definitely the best talk we have had thus far and I'm so excited to see what other conversations we will have in the future (even though we'll be like a million miles apart). As part of our last D-Time together, she gave me my Vision Plan. This was the best things since I don't even know what. The Vision Plan is something that every Discipler does for their disciple. Erin did mine on this super cute stationary. She started off my Vision Plan with my strengths that she sees in me. Let me just say this was such an encouragement because I definitely do not know how people perceive me, but everything she said fit me perfectly. The one term she used for me which I had never heard was "spunky." That makes me feel so good to know that I actually do have a little spunk in my personality. It is always an encouragement to me when people tell me how they see me and the good qualities that I have. I don't think people do this enough. We don't tell other people their strengths enough, or at least I know that I don't. So the rest of my Vision Plan included some short term and long term goals and things that I need to continue to develop. Erin also included her Vision for my life as a child and follower of Christ. Everything that Erin included in my Vision Plan as a whole is so true of my life and what I strive to do with my life as I continue to follow Christ. Erin also gave me this adorable journal that was gold and orange and a purple pen all to symbolize ECU. I thought that the encouraging time was going to end with my D-Time, but it surely did not. In bible study that same day, we did 60 seconds of encouragement. So we went around in a circle and for 60 seconds showered that one person with encouraging words. It was so cool and fun and even a little embarrassing. It was awesome because we all kept going over the 60 seconds for each person. When it was my turn to be showered, something that one of the girls said really struck me. She said that I was the "mom of project" and this is kind of true. I'm always making sure everyone is OK and are being taken care of. I have to thank God for that character trait that He has instilled in me. Because God takes care of me so well, I am able to take care of others. So overall, Tuesday was completely filled with encouraging words and I loved every second of it.

So last night (Thursday) was our last night with our staff here on CSP '12. It makes me super sad that they are leaving, especially the ones that I have grown close to. I have came up with a new motto...it's not goodbyes but see ya later. I have to keep reminding myself that I WILL see these people again somehow and somewhere. It just amazes me how God allows people to get so close to one another in such a short period of time. He definitely brings people into our lives for special reasons and the people that I have been able to share life with in the last 5 weeks as been so touching to me. That I would get so close to these people and that I would want them to stay here to experience the rest of project with me.

I'm so ready to begin our new chapter of CSP '12 and see how God will use these last 5 weeks. I know He is going to do some amazing things and He is going to really challenge the heck out of us. It will be so awesome to grow closer to everyone and to really focus on our friendships and spending quality time together as well as learning so much more about our Heavenly Father and who He is.

Community..where you at?

A big theme for our project this year has been to build community between everyone on project. To kick off our 4th week (I can't believe it has been 4 weeks already!), we had a kickball game with the staff versus students and we almost won. Apparently, staff hasn't lost a game in a while and we definitely gave them a run for their money. This kickball game was to start our week's theme which is "Magnificent Community." I feel as if our group of people on project have already built a sense of community. We definitely have build a little family and we have only known each other for approximately 4 weeks. How crazy is that?!?! God has really been teaching me what a community looks like between believers and how we should develop it. I think the main part of building community is to be open and supportive of each other. I can attest that we all were so supportive of each other during the kickball game. Everyone on our team got along so well and cheered for each other. It was so awesome to see 70 college students working together as a team to accomplish a goal of 1. having some fun and 2. trying to beat staff. However, I do have to say that staff did get scared a little bit about possibly losing, we almost had 'em. I have also learned that within a community of believers, there is no hitting around the bush, we need to dive straight in and get to business. A community of believers will tell one another their struggles and are willing to point out their sins. They are willing to encourage and spend hours listening to one another and talking about the Gospel. The Webster's Dictionary defines a community as: a unified body of individuals. This definition could not be more true of our CSP '12 group. We are all a body of Christ with each member having their own identity and working towards the common goal of glorifying God and His kingdom in all that we do. It so awesome to see how God has been able to bring all of us together with different backgrounds and personalities to be one body of Christ while here in Chicago. Throughout this project so far, I have just been amazed at what our God can do and let me tell you if you don't know already, He can do ANYTHING!!

I would love for those of you who are reading this blog to know how ya'll can pray for me and the people on this project:
1. For an even stronger community.
2. That all conversations with each other are intentional (i'm done with surface convos)
3. That I will use my job as a ministry opportunity
4. That I continue to find time with the Lord daily.

P.S. I've been learning that I also talk really different from almost everyone on project, even the ECU folks...

God's Timing is Best!

Ever since I've been on project, I have struggled with allowing God's timing to be more prominent in my life. My personality has always been the one that plans things out and has to know what is going to be happening within next few days. I do not enjoy last minute planning, but would rather have things planned out ahead of time. So God has really been telling me since I've been on project to trust Him and His plan. I have finally been able to give over my plan for the summer while on project and I have been able to witness God's providing character. He has finally provided a job for me and my fabulous roomie, Amy. We both have been offered a job at Ann Taylor, which if you know me, is one of my favorite stores ever! I was absolutely not expecting to receive the job there, but God has proven to me that He will provide the things that I need in my life in order to glorify Him and His name. My day has been turned around because I can finally say that I have a job and I will be working the city of Chicago. I'll be working in Chicago. That is so crazy that think about. I'm going to finally be making some real money and have a set schedule, which is what I've been longing for since I've gotten to Chi-town. I'm really excited to see how I'll be able to minister to my new co-workers and build lasting relationships with them. God is so good and His timing is perfect. I'm so excited to begin my journey with working with Ann Taylor to see how God will use this job to bring praise and glory to His name!

"The Gift of Singleness"

Tonight, during my date night with Jesus, I was talking to my sweet friends Amy and Susan about being single after Amy read something about relationships in 1 Corinthians. Susan had mentioned that her church back at home did a series on the "Gift of Singleness." I have struggled with the idea of being single as a gift from God, but in all reality, it is. A gift that we can grow in our walk with the Lord and to create a more intimate relationship with Him without having to worry about a relationship with a significant other (#truth) Check out the sermon, it is really powerful and has so many great moments about God's gift of singleness for us single folks.

http://rivchurch.com/grow/weekend-services/messages/

It's week 10 :) Enjoy!

Vulnerability

Tonight, we had our first Women's Time. Some of the staff ladies baked cookies and they were delicious. Nancy (one of our directors) spoke about how a lot changes from when we fill out our applications for project and when we actually arrive on project. Nancy shared about how her vision for us ladies on this project is that we would be comfortable enough to share our troubles and pain with one another. Nancy opened the floor to allow each of us the chance to share our struggles. Of course, at first no one wanted to share and by the end almost every girl on project shared their struggles. It was so beautiful to really see these girls break down and share what they were/are struggling with.The topics ranged from just their views and emotions to God to facing temptations to just wanting to fit in. I absolutely love these moments of vulnerability. Speaking of vulnerability...i crave for those moments with people, but I have realized in the last semester that I don't enjoy being vulnerable with people. Really letting them into my life and my struggles. I have always been able to put up a persona that is very confident. I shared with the ladies about my struggle with body image. I told myself that I wouldn't break down and low and behold, I broke down so much. God allowed me to really show these ladies my struggles with my body and dance. For the first time, I was real and I wasn't holding anything back. Being able to be that comfortable with a group of girls is what I strive for in my everyday friendships. My prayer for this summer is that God would allow me to build intentional and REAL friendships, no surface ones.

After all of the ladies shared that wanted to share, one of my fellow dancers came up to me..actually she ran over to me and wanted to speak with me. I could believe that another dancer who struggled with body issues and who could relate to me with trying to remain modest and remaining faithful to God in our dress and attitude. I honestly doubted that there was another believer who struggled with the same issues as me. God has clearly brought me to Chicago Summer Project to connect with these ladies and to help them heal from their pain.

It was also encouraging to hear that some of the ladies told me that the first thing that they say of me was my kind spirit and the joy that I have. I have to give all of that credit to the Lord because I definitely can't obtain that on my own. Hearing ladies tell me how my attitude made them want to know me makes me see how God really shines through me to the people around me.

My prayer for this summer is that I would build intentional and deep relationships with my fellow project ladies and allow all of my conversations to be intentional with everyone on project.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." -Psalms 139:14

Job, oh Job, where art thou Job?

As part of Chicago Summer Project, we are expected to have jobs, even though some of us will not get one. We started the job search on Monday, and let me just tell you....God has been teaching me so much through the process. I have never had to go out and search for jobs before (and I'm very thankful for that), but it is a WHOLE lot harder than what I thought. Monday, I went out with Danielle and Carlyn, and we didn't have much luck at all. I honestly didn't even have a plan for my job search at this point. I ended up with blisters from my shoes, we got lost, and I didn't have a job. After the first day, I knew I had to solely rely on God to lead me and to provide me the job that He wants me to have. There is no way that I can get a job without His help and guidance. For the past two days, I've been going out with Amy (from ECU) and we have definitely made some progress. We applied to a million places (ok maybe not that many, but too many for me to count), and we were having no luck. We didn't get discouraged, but we were continually praying that God would allow us to find the job that He wants us to have for the summer if it is in His plans for us. One of our friends gave us a lead to a women's clothing store called White House Black Market. We went there as soon as we could and gave the manager our resume. She had us do a little trial run, which I thought went really well for both Amy and I. We were supposed to hear back from the manager that same day, but she never did called. Day 2 no job so on to Day 3. Wednesday, we went back to White House Black Market, and the lady told us that she would be getting in contact with us by Thursday. So I'm praying that I'll be getting a phone call soon about that job. I also applied to Ann Taylor yesterday as well. I'm absolutely in LOVE with that store. Amy and I filled out an application and did their little survey online and hopefully we will be contacted about a job there. I'm started to realize more and more that God has given me an optimistic attitude about getting a job. These past few days, I have been saying "Today, we will find a job" and really God has given me the peace and contentment that if I don't find a job then that is totally ok. But job searching is draining, emotionally and physically.

One of our staff leaders read to us a verse out of the Bible as an encouragement as we were going to find jobs one day this week. The verse that he read was "Behold, I send an angel before you to guard you on the way and to bring you to the place that I have prepared." This verse was so encouraging to me because God already has a job prepared for me whether it is in Chicago, or that it has something to do with our specific project. I have been continually praying that God would reveal this place to me and that I can trust in His plans for me and not my own. I would ask that ya'll would pray for those of us who do not have jobs yet and that are still seeking where God wants us to be this summer.

-more later :)

Adjusting to the City

I have officially been in Chi-town for 3 days now and my life has not slowed done one bit. I flew in on Friday with Cody and Logan. We had a blast flying in and watching Cody be amazed by seeing the clouds and city from the air. Our flight from Raleigh to Chicago was delayed about 30 minutes and we somehow managed to make it to Chicago on our original landing time. I think that pilot was booking it in the sky. My bible study leader for the summer, Erin, picked Logan and I up from the airport and had a fabulous adventure trying to navigate Chicago to get back to our new homes for the summer. We got to really see the bad and good parts of Chicago on that ride. We arrived to our new home, the Automatic Lofts, and were greeted by many of the staff, which are all awesome and super nice. We had to go through a check-in process, which I'm so thankful for my new roommate, Anne, who helped me with the process. Speaking of roommates, I love and adore mine. Finally meeting them has been so good and I have really enjoyed getting to know them these past few days. I'm also very excited about seeing how God will deepen those relationships this summer.

Friday night, we had dinner together as a project. So this was the first time that I actually got to meet a lot of the people that I will be spending my summer with. (now whether I remembered their names or not is another question). Before we ate, we had to play a game to get to know the people on project and of course it was the silly bingo game where you have to get signatures. I really do not like doing those kinds of activities, but it definitely made me have to initiate some conversations. There were a group of us who got all the signatures for every box, and so in order to determine the winner, we did a rock, paper, scissor tournament. After I got out on the second round, it was time for me to eat my first piece of Chicago-style pizza. I must say it was rather delicious. The rest of the night consisted of us all just hanging out and getting to know each other. Some people played ping pong, others played UNO, and I played Spoons, which was so much fun. I was able to really get to know some new people by playing and we had a complete blast.

Saturday, a busy busy busy day. We were served a yummy breakfast first thing in the morning and then we went straight into a meeting to discuss some of the rules and policies that we need to follow while in Chicago. Bacho (our head director for our project) did a little bible study lesson. He had a passage from Acts, and the passage really talked about community, of being of one heart and one soul. I pray that this summer will teach me what community really is. What it means to be part of one and to interact with people within the community of believers. I think God has really already provided the foundation for a community within this project already. Everyone is getting along great and we are all having a blast hanging out with one another. That afternoon, we were divided into teams and had to compete in the Chicago Scavenger hunt. We did this in order to learn how to work the "L" (the metro train). At first, the "L" scared me, but I'm definitely getting the hang of it. My team didn't win the challenge, but we had fun walking around the city. Saturday night, we were on our own for dinner, so my roommates and I went to Greektown, which is only like 5 minutes from the loft. We ate at this super cute restaurant called Athena and I tried Gyros for the first time. I must say they were pretty tasty too. My roommates and I decided that this would be a great opportunity to get to know one another, so we each took a chance asking questions. These questions could either be super silly or super serious. I think we had a great balance of the two. At night, we have been having Project Fun time, which is just some time that we spend together as a project doing something fun. So Saturday night's project fun was an ice cream party where we could play on the Wii or watch Ferris Buellers Day Off. A group of us decided to play this game called Mafia, which I had never played before, but it got really funny, because we couldn't keep the game going.

Sunday: We went to church at Willow Chicago, which is right in the middle of the city (maybe not, but it's close). It is held in the auditorium of Roosevelt University. This place was amazing. You would think this place was made for the opera, not for a church to be held at. Church was really good, I'm still trying to process whether I like how the pastor preaches or not. Hopefully next Sunday will be a little bit better. That afternoon was our first chance to go out into the city and share our faith. I partnered up with Michelle, one of the staff women, and we all went out to Millennium Park (where the Bean is). There were so many people out there and to be honest, I was nervous about initiating conversation with someone. Michelle went first so I could see how she started the conversation. I went ahead and took a step of faith to initiate a conversation with a girl laying on the ground. I asked the girl the questions on the survey and the last question was about her desire to know God, and she responded with a 1 (which is not at all). This broke my heart and I would say that God really opened my eyes to how many people in this world need Jesus. I now have a desire to go on to these campuses and share my faith and God's holiness with these students. I'm ready to initiate these conversations and to develop these relationships with people that I don't know. I'm excited now to see how God will allow me to develop these skills to take back to ECU's campus and share with those that are around me daily. Sunday ended with a Project Fun of bowling on IUC campus. We had an absolute blast taking pictures and bowling with each other. I was able to get to know some of the other guys and gals that were bowling in the lanes next to me.

So far, I have just been amazed at how God can bring this many people to one city to share His love with. He has shown that He will be faithful to us and love us during the times that we want to give up. He has brought each and everyone one of us to this project for a special reason and I'm excited to unwrap that mystery and see God's plan unfold. Please continue to pray for each of us that are on this project that we will stay focus, build relationships, and to be intentional in all that we do.

** sorry this post was so long, orientation weekend for us is crazy busy... :)

Today Mebane, Tomorrow Chicago

I leave for Chicago tomorrow morning..where has the time flown. It feels that I just left Greenville to come home for the summer and now I'm about to head off to Chicago. If you were to ask me how I'm feeling at this point, I would say: nervous, anxious, excited, scared, and every other emotion there is. Like I've said before, I'm not a fan of the unknown, but God is putting me through the unknown. I have to keep reminding myself that what I'm doing is to glorify His Name and to grow in my relationship with Him.

It has taken me two days to pack everything for my trip..and let me say that I am such an over-packer. I have two large bags, a book bag, and I've already shipped some things to Chicago. Packing is such a process, too. I've never had to pack for two months and I think I have everything I need, if not then oh well.

I've also managed to visit most of my family within the last few days. Most importantly, I've gotten to spend some good time with my grandparents. I'm going to miss them so much while I'm gone. They are so precious and dear to my heart. While with my pawpaw and nannie this morning, I got to spend some time with my sweet little baby cousin. I have enjoyed being able to see him so much while I've been home. I even told him today that he wasn't allow to grow while I was gone, but he could when I get back. I'm sure he won't listen to me.

Chicago is only about 17 hours away. So Hello Chicago, Goodbye Mebane.

The next time I post anything, I'll be in the big Windy City :)

A Promise is a Promise!

I leave for Chicago in 11 days..I still can't believe it is that soon. To me, Chicago right now is almost a dream, but no, it is reality. I'll be doing life in Chicago and I'm ready to see if I can handle the city life. I have been doing my best to prepare myself for this trip, preparing for the excitement and the falls I know I will encounter. I have just finished raising my support that I need for this trip. My grandparents graciously gave me well enough money to cover my remaining costs. I was in awe when I opened their card and saw the amount they gave me. But all I have to say is that GOD is good and that He does provide when we put our trust in Him. I can now be at ease over my support because that is one less thing I need to worry about at this point.

I have also finished my book for the trip last weekend (when it was already a week over due..oops!). We had to read "God's Big Picture" by Robert Vaughn. At first, I wasn't too thrilled about reading it, but as I actually got into it, it was really challenging and insightful. I learned a lot from that little book. It was cool to see how much the Old Testament overflows into the New Testament. I had always heard that the New Testament is a continuation of the Old Testament, but I never knew exactly how much. The Old Testament is filled with the promises that God gives to his followers and the people of that time. The New Testament is where all of those promises are filled. These promises are little pinky promises that God makes to His people. These are bigger promises that if He didn't fulfill them then who would put their faith in Him. These promises are what we can count on as believers of what God will do in our lives. He promises to provide and take care of us and that is exactly what I needed to hear as I'm preparing to go to Chicago. God will provide and take care of all of my needs and allow me to grow in Him throughout this summer. I have been able to rest in that God will provide me with my support, a job, and an experience that I'll never forget.

This past week, I found out who I'll be rooming with. One is my sweet friend Amy from ECU. I'm so excited to be able to really get to know her this summer since we will be living together. My other roommates are both from other states. One is from Wyoming and the other is from Michigan I do believe. I'm so ready to see the friendships that will evolve this summer and how God will use those friendships for His purpose.

God is going to be doing some awesome things this summer and I am ready to be challenged by Him!

Pre-Chicago Feelings

This should be fun! A lot of people have continuously mentioned that I start a blog for my adventures in Chicago this summer, and well why not, I have nothing to lose. So here is to my first post and Pre-Chicago feelings.

I leave for Chicago in exactly 28 days and I'm super excited about it, but I'm also nervous. If you know me really well, you'll know that I'm not a fan of the unexpected and Chicago is filled with the unexpected for me right now. The things that I'm most anxious about are the silly things that I know will be completely fine once I get there. I can't wait to find out who I'll be living with and doing life with the most while I'm in Chicago. 

The preparations for Chicago is more intense than I thought it was going to be. My support raising is going pretty well and I only have God to thank for that. I know that He will provide for this trip as He has provided me with my salvation that I don't deserve. However, my job searching isn't going as I had planned. I thought it would have been slightly easier to get a job, but it definitely isn't. And it doesn't help that I don't have much job experience or even job searching experience to say the least. I will have to say though, trying to find a job has really shown me that it is NOT in my power, but in God's. We also have to read a book that basically goes through the entire Bible and gives a good overview of how it is all connected. "God's Big Picture" is actually pretty interesting, but I just need to get through the study questions at the end of the chapters. Oh help me!

So, to finish off this post, I'm so excited about Chicago, and I am ready to see how God is going to challenge me this summer and break me down. I'm going to let myself allow God to be my guide this summer and not myself (this is definitely my prayer for now). I'm excited for ya'll to join me on my adventures this summer as I go Dancin' in the City for Christ!

"....I will make you as a light for the nations, that my salvation may reach to the end of the earth."

                                                                                                              -Isaiah 49:6