Vulnerability

Tonight, we had our first Women's Time. Some of the staff ladies baked cookies and they were delicious. Nancy (one of our directors) spoke about how a lot changes from when we fill out our applications for project and when we actually arrive on project. Nancy shared about how her vision for us ladies on this project is that we would be comfortable enough to share our troubles and pain with one another. Nancy opened the floor to allow each of us the chance to share our struggles. Of course, at first no one wanted to share and by the end almost every girl on project shared their struggles. It was so beautiful to really see these girls break down and share what they were/are struggling with.The topics ranged from just their views and emotions to God to facing temptations to just wanting to fit in. I absolutely love these moments of vulnerability. Speaking of vulnerability...i crave for those moments with people, but I have realized in the last semester that I don't enjoy being vulnerable with people. Really letting them into my life and my struggles. I have always been able to put up a persona that is very confident. I shared with the ladies about my struggle with body image. I told myself that I wouldn't break down and low and behold, I broke down so much. God allowed me to really show these ladies my struggles with my body and dance. For the first time, I was real and I wasn't holding anything back. Being able to be that comfortable with a group of girls is what I strive for in my everyday friendships. My prayer for this summer is that God would allow me to build intentional and REAL friendships, no surface ones.

After all of the ladies shared that wanted to share, one of my fellow dancers came up to me..actually she ran over to me and wanted to speak with me. I could believe that another dancer who struggled with body issues and who could relate to me with trying to remain modest and remaining faithful to God in our dress and attitude. I honestly doubted that there was another believer who struggled with the same issues as me. God has clearly brought me to Chicago Summer Project to connect with these ladies and to help them heal from their pain.

It was also encouraging to hear that some of the ladies told me that the first thing that they say of me was my kind spirit and the joy that I have. I have to give all of that credit to the Lord because I definitely can't obtain that on my own. Hearing ladies tell me how my attitude made them want to know me makes me see how God really shines through me to the people around me.

My prayer for this summer is that I would build intentional and deep relationships with my fellow project ladies and allow all of my conversations to be intentional with everyone on project.

"I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." -Psalms 139:14