Tomorrow I leave Chicago, tomorrow I begin a new adventure back at home, tomorrow I say "see ya later" to 68 of my closest friends, tomorrow starts a new beginning. My time on project is coming to an end and it sucks. It is such a bittersweet moment in project. I'm ready to see my family back at home, but I'm not ready to leave my new project family. I've become so close to so many people on project that I don't want to leave them because I don't know when the next time I'll see them considering the majority of them live in the midwest. I know God has placed these people in my life for a reason and that our friendships will be able to stand distance. I know I'll be having many skype dates and pen pals for the rest of my life. I also get to look forward to reunion with these people that usually happens October/ November.
Today has already been an emotional day. Actually this past week as been emotional. I haven't cried as much this entire summer than I have within this past week. I get super emotional when I have to leave something so good. Reality has finally sunk in and I'm not a huge fan of it quite yet. I know I need to trust God in His plan for me leaving early, so I'm trying my best to live in the now, enjoy what He has given me this very moment instead of thinking about the end. So, this morning at about 3:00 am, I was getting phone calls and text messages from two of my friends. My sweet dear friend Soooz found out her sister was in labor so she was going to be leaving project for a day or two to be there for the birth of her niece. I ended up staying up with her before she left. We spent about 3 hours together which didn't feel that long. It was so good to have some quality time with her before she left. She has become one of my closest friends on project and she has become my best friend. That was probably the hardest "see ya laters" I have ever done. She has impacted my life so much within these past 9 weeks and I have treasured every moment I have spent with her. She is a friend I have never had, one that isn't afraid to challenge me and to speak truth into me when I didn't want to hear it. I know that God will bless our friendship and He will honor it. I'm so excited to be able to share life with her while being in two different states.
I haven't had to say my "see ya laters" to anyone else yet, but I know it's going to be hard. These people on project have literally become my family here in Chicago. They have made me feel so special. Whenever they talk to me, I feel that I'm the only person in the room and that they value me as an individual and as a daughter of Christ. I've never felt so valued by people than I have here. The encouragements and sincerity of our interactions has been so awesome to see and be a part of. We all genuinely care about each other and we want to hear about each other's struggles that day or that week. I'm going to miss the sense of community that has been built on project. The deep, intentional conversations that we have and the fun adventures that we go on. Chicago now has such a special place in my heart. I never thought I would love Chicago as much as I do, but it is a beautiful city and God is doing amazing things here.
So, I said earlier that I've been crying like crazy this past week. As I am writing this, I'm crying. It blows my mind how God has changed me and my view on life because of this summer. People say that project changes you, and they were so right. I feel as if I'm a different person, but in all good ways. These changes have made me more like my Father and have made me see how God can really work in my life. These tears shows how much of an impact that CSP '12 has made on my life. I wouldn't trade this summer for anything!
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